Adam & Sara Adams | Quantum Therapy

I seem to be preoccupied with communication lately.

Today, instead of being upset over the form that communication is taking in modern society, (insert irony here) I wanted to talk a bit about Secrets of Great Communicators.

When most people think about communication, they think about words. But communication is a great deal more that just speaking – verbal communication is about words, tone, rhythm, the words we choose, and structure. Non-verbal communication can speak volumes if it is incongruent to the words we are speaking. What about written communication? How we break up paragraphs, punctuate, spell – all has a bearing on our communication style – and ultimately defines how we are viewed and judged as to how effective we are as communicators.

Secret #1:
Connection is key. Great communicators know that you have to connect with your audience – whether that is 1 person or 100 people, connection is key. If you can communicate to someone in a manner that makes them feel comfortable, it moves mountains.

So how do you connect?

Secret #2:
Speak their language. Each person has their own manner of communicating – basic NLP teaches us about sensory modalities – some people are visual people, some are kinaesthetic, some are auditory – and each modality speaks their own “language” pertaining to that sense. If you can identify the sensory language that a person is speaking, connection and rapport is built rapidly.


Secret #3:
WII FM. Another way to connect with your communication is to keep in mind what Kevin Hogan calls “WII FM radio” – keep focussed on the “What’s in it for me” factor for everyone you are communicating with.

What is in it for the listener? Why do they care? Are they interested?

Great communicators know that in order for communication to be effective and engaging, you have to keep in mind what is to be gained by the listener from this exchange.


Secret #4:
Keep it short and to the point. Stories should not take more than about 2 minutes from start to finish. Not every tale of woe or adventure requires a lengthy back-story to “set the scene”.


Secret #5:
It’s all about them. There is magic in allowing people to talk about themselves. Even more magic if you can become an effective listener. Most people are more than ready to talk about themselves and what interests them. Make it all about them, and watch the connection happen. It’s all about them. What’s more is that they will think you are an amazing communicator because of this secret.

Bonus....

Secret #6:
Know a little or a lot about a lot. Good communicators can walk into any room and feel confident that no matter who they encounter. The more you know about, the more you have to talk about.

So what about the ultra-shy person who does not want to fall into #5 – Great communicators know tricks to speak or ask questions to elicit responses that allow conversation to flow naturally.

That’s all for today folks!

sara@quantumtherapy.ca